Hello!

In this new year of 2011, I wanted to take a long, good, hard look at myself and really take in who it is that I am.  And I realized this.  I am 25 years old, unemployed and living with my parents.  If I go a little deeper.. I am not beautiful, I am socially awkward, and I seem to have some anger issues.  The last bit is why I decided to start this blog.  I've always thought of myself as a good listener, but I have recently come to understand that this was a delusion.  I'm a terrible listener, especially to myself.  And thus was born a blog.  This blog, in fact.

I was watching some people argue on tv some time ago who had a mediator present.  I really don't remember any more details than that.  What stood out about this argument, though, was something the mediator said.  She (or he, I really can't remember) said that each side was so focused on what they wanted to say to the other that they weren't listening to what the other said.  This struck a chord in me.  If I was honest with myself and thought back to the last few arguments I have had, I realize that I can't really remember what the spat was about because I was only in the moment.  And when I'm in the moment I can be vicious.  So that even long after the fight ends, ill-feelings may still be lingering between my sparring partner and I because I tend to hit below the belt.

So now I am working on changing that.  I want to be the listener I thought I was.  And I want to share my growing experience with you.  I don't understand our recent phenomenon of sharing our most private thoughts with complete strangers over the internet, but I am going to embrace it and use it and hope that some of you out there will enjoy listening to my rants. 

Listen Sammi.  You are not always right.  You are not always the smartest person in the room.  You don't have to prove to others how intelligent you are because that makes you come across as condescending and a bitch.  So think before you speak.  Better yet, just shut up and listen.